Q. Is this a true story?

A. Duh.

Q. Is it?

A. Duhh...

Q. Okay, fine. I've got another question for you. Do you make up these supposed "frequently asked questions" yourself?

A. No comment.

Q. Well, do you?

A. No comment. Next question.

Q. Do you make up these so-called "frequently asked" questions yourself? Are you making up this question, the very question which I am asking you at this very moment?

A. Yes! Okay?! Yes I am — I was — Whatever! I made up all of the "frequently asked" questions. I made up the first one; I made up that last one, and I'm going to make up the next question that you're going to ask! I made up all of the questions, because there are no "frequently asked" questions... about any of this crap! Are you happy now? I'm a fraud, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear? Well... is it?

Q. I'm the one asking the questions here, alright?

A. Apparently not.

Q. Touché. So tell me, the whole thing seems rather onanistic, doesn't it? You — just sitting there — asking yourself questions about stories you wrote?

A. I don't know what "onanistic" means.

Q. A-ha! Of course you do! Of course you know what it means! Because you made up that question yourself! A-ha!

A. Alright. Get off it, already.

Q. Okay!

A. Okay.

Q. Um...

A. "Um..." what?

Q. So is it a true story?

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